November 22nd: Yesterday was my 15th birthday. I’ve been dreading that day for awhile now because it’s a reminder of how long I’ve been sick.

Last year, I spent the day alone because I didn’t want to make the pain worse.

This year, I decided I was going to have fun with my friends and pay for the consequences later. It was awesome! There were these little moments when I almost forgot about POTS and migraines and it was amazing! I loved it!

During the party, my symptoms started getting worse and it became harder to pretend everything was okay.

After my party, we went straight to the ER. Car rides are such a hard thing for me but I told myself when I get there I’ll get some relief.

When we got to the ER, the doctor had never heard of my condition and said she didn’t know what she could for us. She kept saying I’m too complex and this is an ER. It was frustrating and I was angry and in pain. My Mom asked if they could try a different pain med this time. They told her that they don’t give out morphine here. My Mom said she didn’t believe it. The doctor then said, “Well if she had a broken arm we could give her some.” I didn’t understand how she thought a broken arm is more painful then a ten out of ten migraine.

A CT scan, Toradol and hours later we decided I was going to be admitted. A doctor came in and said she wanted to prepare us. She said the same ideas would probably be discussed again and that psych will most likely come up. And at this time their not sure they have any new treatments to try.

November 25th: Today, I’m being discharged. We have been here 4 days and I’m so excited to be going home. These past 4 days have been about keeping my pain under control. Nothing has been solved but still hoping for help when we travel to an out of state hospital.

Hospitals are scary but I’m grateful for my momma bear for being there for me and making it just a little less scary. I don’t know know what I’d do without her.

The party was fun, unfortunately the consequences weren’t as fun. Being a chronic illness fighter you have to learn that everything comes with payback later but sometimes you have to take that risk and let go.

Since the hospital stay, it’s been really hard to keep fighting. One morning, I woke up and felt so sad. I was filled with grief, anger, and sadness for everything I have lost.

I’m not sure how but somehow my mind wandered to care packages. I have received these in the past and they have always wanted to do them for other people.

I instantly started looking at care package websites, Instagram accounts, and ideas. I ran the idea by my mom and then did all the “research” by asking around for advice on starting my own care package project for life altering illnesses.

I started to notice my sadness slowly fading away while doing all of this. Of course, I still get sad at times about everything but it made it a little easier. I like the idea of putting a smile on someone’s face and giving them the courage to go on.

My care package project is called: Bundles of Hope. I have had over 20 people apply in just 2 days. I have now started a Go Fund Me account to help me be able to send to all these people and hopefully more. The link for that is: Go Fund Me account. If you have anything to donate to go in the care packages that would be great too.