The past two months have been very tough, to say the least. I have not experienced this much heart ache since 2008, when my father passed away. I have watched my little sister and best friend suffer an immense amount of pain. She got in a wreck a couple months ago which caused her to shatter 2 of her bone tumors, fracture her arm and cause even more pain in other tumors throughout her body.

On 10/21/2014, after 8 long hours in the ER seeing Katie in so much pain from the x-rays, MRI and multiple nurses coming in and out, the end result was that they were not comfortable operating on her because of her medical history. They told my mom that she needed to wait for it to heal or take her to her bone specialist. Katie instantly started crying. She was super stressed out because she knew that this meant more surgeries, which meant she was going to fall behind in school again, endure even more pain and not have a social life.

We tried everything we could to ease her pain and stress. We brought Melissa into the ER room, someone who always seems to be able to make her laugh. But nothing was working. I even talked about her biggest crush, Dean from Super Natural and figuring out how we can meet him. There were a few smiles and chuckles but nothing like normal. It was heart breaking. I could do nothing to help her.

After weeks of trying to deal with the pain and let it “heal” she couldn’t handle it any more. She couldn’t survive a day at work, she couldn’t make it through school, and the pain was defeating her. She told my mom that she needed to call her doctor to schedule a surgery. The wait time was too long since her regular doctor had recently been diagnosed with cancer and wasn’t practicing nearly as much. He referred my mom to a doctor at Primary Children’s. This was a new and scary experience for Katie. She was out of her comfort zone. She was used to going to Shriners Hospital where she had always been treated like she was the only one in the hospital. Let’s just say that was not her experience at Primary’s. She was told that after surgery, she was going to be sent home. She was used to spending days in the hospital which she preferred because someone was constantly watching her and taking care of her.

She met the doctor who was going to operate after 4 hours of waiting with massive anxiety. She ended up asking if he would be comfortable removing a tumor on her shoulder blade that had been causing a lot of pain recently. After going back and looking over the x-ray he said he would but it would hurt more than the last 3 surgeries combined because of the muscles he would have to tear to get to it. She said because she wasn’t going to have the ability to use her right are for a while, she would rather be in a lot of pain this one time than having to deal with it multiple different times.

While she was undergoing surgery, Melissa and I left the hospital. We wanted to get her something that would make her smile when she woke up from surgery. Katie has 3 obsessions right now; Supernatural, fuzzy things and elephants. We went to Toys R Us and found the most perfect fuzzy elephant and a Super Natural poster that we hung on the wall in her room. We saw a little twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face for a split second; she cringed in pain and tried to hold back the tears but she just couldn’t.

She is allergic to most pain pills so getting her pain under control is really hard. She ranked her pain at an 11 on a scale from 1-10. This allowed my mom to able to convince them that she needed to spend the night at the hospital. The next day she was admitted as an inpatient and got moved up to that floor where she would be monitored until the pain was under control.

I was getting ready to go on a trip with my girlfriend that we had planned months prior. We were going to see the Green Bay Packer and New England Patriots play at Lambeau field. This was one of my girlfriend’s dreams and we were leaving on Thanksgiving morning. While I was super excited for this trip, I was so sad and in so much pain, knowing I was leaving my little sister in the hospital especially on Thanksgiving. I spent the night before we left so I could allow my mom to go home and get some sleep as well as spend some time with her. While I was gone my stress levels were high. I would check in with my mom and Katie multiple times a day. I had one amazing trip, but I was glad to come home to be closer to Katie.

Katie was released from Primary’s after 5 days of being there. My brother had to carry her up the stairs as she could not walk at all. We did everything we could to make her comfortable and be able to survive in her room for recovery. We brought over the part of our sectional that had an automatic recliner so it would be easier on her to get up and down. We also brought over a TV and Laptop so she could watch Netflix in her room and not be bored out of her mind.

Recovery has been a nightmare for her. It has gotten better but the first month she couldn’t do anything on her own. She would drink 5-8 ounces of water a day. I kept getting after her to drink more water because she was so dehydrated. She would tell me she didn’t want to have to go to the bathroom because the pain it would cause to get up and the inconvenience it was for others.   Going to the bathroom would take about 20 minutes. We would slowly sit her up, lower the recliner, and then help her stand. She then stood there for a minute to catch her breath and control her pain. We helped her walk 4 or 5 steps, took a break and repeat this until we got into the bathroom.

When my mom went back to work, she said she couldn’t drink more water than that because it would make her have to hold it for hours due to no one being home to help her get up. She trained her body on when she would have to go to the bathroom. She would only feel comfortable going to the bathroom with certain people. She would plan on going whenever my mom, Melissa, Missy (our older sister), Kayleigh (her best friend) or myself could come over in between school and work. She was not capable of doing anything on her own. She got very frustrated. Frustrated she had to depend on others to do daily routines such as go to the bathroom, brush her teeth, take a shower etc. Aside from those few things, she never left her room. She was sick of being trapped and not able to do anything. That is not good for her. It shouldn’t have to be like that.

There was a time that she was ready to give up. Not only has she had the pain from the surgery but she is also growing another tumor on her knee cap which has caused an unbearable amount of pain for her. She wasn’t able to do any homework so she was getting so far behind; the stress she was experiencing caused her to get sick, which caused even more pain. I would go over there and spend hours trying to help her get caught up but it just kept building. It was stressful, she felt defeated. This was so hard to watch, there was only so much I could do to help her and I think that was the hardest part. I couldn’t take away her pain.

I knew Christmas was going to be rough for her so I wanted to get her something special, something that would make her smile, something to motivate her to push to get better and not give up. I got her a sister bracelet and fuzzy elephant pajamas which she was super excited about. However, when everyone was done opening presents, I said I had forgot that we had one present. I helped her open it as she couldn’t on her own. There was a piece of paper in the box that she had to figure out what exactly it was. When she figures it out, she screamed, she smiled and she FREAKED OUT. I saw the Katie I was used to seeing. I got her a Photo-op with Jensen Ackles (Dean from Supernatural-her crush, her obsession) for a convention they are doing in November in Denver Colorado. She is sooo excited. That smile was all I needed to see to make my Christmas the best one ever.

Although she has had some ups and downs, Katie has been so strong through this all. She has pushed herself so hard and continues to amaze me. It has been almost a month and a half and she is getting a lot better. She still can’t get up on her own. However; she can take steps on her own, brush her teeth, stand in the shower and go down the stairs without having to be carried. I was able to take her out of the house for the first time last week and it was the best! We went out to lunch, went shopping and I even got a glimpse of her singing in the car. I still had to help her get dressed, walk and she was only able to last 3 small stores but I will take every minute I can get. She used to sleep over on a regular basis and this hasn’t happened since before the surgery. I am so excited for this weekend. She will be able to come over and hang out! Even if it is just sitting on the couch while watching Super Natural, it is the small things in life that count.

She has been through so much over the last 17 years of her life and I couldn’t be more proud of her. I love her so much and pray to God that this pain ends soon. I want her to have a “normal” life. I want her to be happy. I want her to fulfill her dreams. It is my goal in life to make enough money to get a house big enough for her to live in with us, take her to multiple beaches, Paris, and other places she has dreamt about going to. Nothing makes me happier than to see her happy I will do EVERYTHING I can to make this happen. This is my promise to you and anyone reading this that I will accomplish my goals! I will take Katie around the world with me and let her be “normal”.

Here’s to 2015 in hopes of less pain, more amazing memories and taking steps to accomplish goals.